Cross My Heart: A Contemporary Romance Novel Read online

  “Upstairs,” he said, breaking the kiss. “Upstairs now, or I take you on the floor.”

  She kept her eyes on his as she stepped back, wriggling out of her jeans, kicking them away along with her shoes.

  His eyes darkened as he reached for her. “The floor it is,” he said, but she laughed and ran for the stairway.

  They made it somehow, stumbling up the stairs and down the hall into her bedroom, falling onto her unmade bed and into a kiss that made her dizzy. She fumbled with Michael’s clothes as he fumbled with hers, getting his jeans and boxers off while he slid her panties down her legs. Their tee shirts came off, and her bra, and suddenly the fumbling stopped as Michael rolled her onto her back and then rose up on his knees, looking down at her.

  For a second they were both still.

  His brown eyes were so serious. Something in his expression sent a wave of fear through her, because she was afraid the same thing was in her eyes.

  His face was becoming dear to her.

  He was becoming dear to her.

  She shook her head sharply. She couldn’t feel those things—she wouldn’t. She reached for him, impatient to drown out liking with lust, but he stopped her.

  “No,” he said, pinning her wrists above her head, on the pillow. “I’ve fantasized about you since the day I first saw you. If we go too fast I won’t believe it’s real.”

  Panic rose in her throat. “But it’s not real,” she said, struggling against his grip. “We’re not—this isn’t—”

  “I know,” he said, his voice suddenly harsh. “I get it. But for this one night, Jenna, you’re mine.”

  Her body arched towards him, suddenly and instinctively. Something inside her, something utterly primal, responded to his words and the look on his face as if she’d been waiting for this her entire life.

  The feeling should have terrified her. It went against everything she thought she knew about herself.

  But it was just one night. One night of fantasy, of make believe.

  One night to belong to him.

  She met his eyes in the moonlight that streamed through the windows, and she knew he could feel the change in her, the pliancy that made her whole body yearn towards him. “What do you want me to do?” she whispered.

  He smiled. Then he leaned in and kissed her, slowly and thoroughly.

  “Arch your head back,” he whispered when he finally pulled away.

  She’d never felt so safe and so vulnerable at the same time. The helplessness of having her hands pinned down, of exposing her throat...Michael caressed her neck with his lips, and then his teeth, and then his tongue, and the sensations made her shudder and writhe against him.

  Michael knew he’d never recover from this. Every second he was with Jenna, he could feel the marks she was leaving on him.

  “Leave your hands where they are,” he said, letting her wrists go and moving down her body to her breasts, stroking with his tongue, nipping with his teeth, teasing with his fingers.

  He’d never felt this way before. With Jenna, the most primitive part of him surged to the surface. Nothing was more important than the need to claim her, to make her his. His body knew she belonged to him, and he didn’t give a damn about anything else.

  The sweet peaks of her nipples drove him crazy. He bit down harder than he meant to and looked up, afraid he’d hurt her. But her gasp of surprise held pleasure, too, and her hands were still on the pillow above her head, where he’d put them.

  The sight did something to him, made him feel like a barbarian king. He looked down, and saw the glint of moonlight on her belly ring. With a groan he lowered his mouth to the little piece of metal that had haunted his dreams, dipping his tongue into the dimple of her naval, feeling a rush of satisfaction when she shuddered against him.

  He went lower. “Spread your legs,” he said in a voice so raw he didn’t recognize it.

  She complied, and he moved between her thighs, kissing her there as he moved closer to the place he really wanted to be. When he heard Jenna moan he smiled against her skin.

  He urged her legs wider apart. When he bent his head close he felt her trembling, and he gripped her hips hard, holding her in place.

  He was drunk in seconds, ravenous for her. He showed her no mercy, delving into her body with tongue and fingers until she was twisting against him helplessly.

  He’d never felt so attuned to a woman. He knew exactly where to touch her, when to go hard and fast and when to pull back, taking her close but not letting her go over until she was frantic with want, writhing so desperately it was hard to hold her down. Only then did he take her over the edge, his own heart pounding when she cried out his name, greedy for her pleasure as he drank in every spasm, every quiver, every tremor as she came slowly down from the crest.

  Even then he went on kissing her softly, moving back up her body until he could look down into her eyes. Her skin was flushed, her face glowing.

  She took a deep breath. “I’m going to make you pay for that.”

  He brushed the hair away from her face. Before this moment, he wouldn’t have believed that anything could make her look more beautiful. “Should I be afraid?”

  She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him onto his back, throwing a leg across him to straddle his hips. “Very afraid.”

  He forced himself to stay still. “Are you planning an assault on my virtue?”

  “I am.” She slid along his body, kissing her way down his torso. Every muscle in his body was tense with anticipation.

  She took him in her mouth, and his hips jerked in response.

  It was too much. He slid a hand into her hair and tried to control himself, but there wasn’t a chance in hell he could handle this. Not when he’d wanted her for so long.

  He took her by the shoulders and pulled her up to him.

  “You have to stop. I’m close, and I need to be inside you. Please tell me you have condoms.”

  “You tortured me for hours,” she said softly, her mouth close to his ear. “I can’t believe you stopped me after five seconds.”

  “I didn’t torture you for hours. Ten minutes, tops. Back to the condom question…”

  “I have them.” She moved over him and pressed a kiss to his chest. “But...” she hesitated, looking up. “I’m also on the Pill. I haven’t been with anyone in more than a year. I had a checkup a few months ago and I’m healthy. So, if you want...” She trailed off.

  He pulled her down for a kiss. The knowledge that she hadn’t been with a man in so long made him happier than it should have.

  “I’m healthy, too,” he told her. “I haven’t been with anyone in almost a year, and I had a physical last month.” He swallowed. “So, yeah, I want.”

  They looked at each other for a long moment. She rose up over him, her knees on either side of his hips.

  She looked like a goddess, her skin drenched in moonlight. Then, so slowly he thought it might kill him, she took every inch of his hard length inside her.

  He was afraid he’d explode right then and there. He was harder than granite, every muscle in his body rigid as he stared up at her. She was hot and tight and perfect for him, and he would have told her so except his mouth had gone dry and he couldn’t draw a deep breath, and he couldn’t say anything but her name.

  Even that came out as a ragged whisper. His hands settled on her hips, trying to urge her to move, but she just smiled.

  “If I can’t torture you one way, I’ll torture you another.”

  She lifted up slowly, and came down again even more slowly.

  Need slammed through him. He grabbed her by the shoulders and flipped them over, pinning her against the mattress as he thrust into her.

  Jenna gasped, wrapping her legs around him as her body surged to meet his.

  His rhythm was hard and fast. He was out of control, desperate for her even though he was deep inside her. When the explosion came he clenched his jaw to keep from roaring, dropping his head onto her shoulder as he pou
red himself into her.

  He shuddered with the aftershocks. When the storm finally passed he realized he was holding Jenna so tightly she probably couldn’t breathe.

  He relaxed his hold as he looked down at her. His heart was still pounding.

  “That was amazing,” she whispered, staring up at him with luminous eyes.

  He rested his forehead against hers. “You’re amazing,” he said, his voice shaking a little.

  He rolled onto his back, keeping his arm around her so he could bring her with him, stroking her hair as she rested her head against his chest.

  Jenna made a small, contented sound, and his body twitched in response.

  It was hard to believe, considering it had been less than a minute since he’d pulled out of her, but he was ready to make love to her all over again.

  But she was boneless against him, languorous and sleepy, her breathing already starting to slow. If he started something now it would be about his need and not hers.

  So he willed his body to calm down as he cradled her against him, and wondered how he was ever going to let her go.

  Chapter Eight

  Jenna woke suddenly. It was dark outside, and she was wrapped in a snug cocoon. After a confused minute she realized the cocoon was Michael. He was behind her, holding her securely against his chest, one arm around her waist.

  A sense of well-being filled her, spiced with a dash of lust at the feel of his strong body pressed so close.

  “Michael?” she whispered, not wanting to wake him if he was asleep.

  “Hey,” he answered, nuzzling the back of her neck.

  Her body flushed with pleasure. “What time is it? When do you have to go?”

  “It’s a little before dawn. I don’t have to go just yet...if you don’t want me to.”

  His hand moved up her torso to cover her breast. She arched back instinctively, her bare bottom coming into contact with an impressive erection.

  “How long have you been like this?”

  He played with her nipple, tweaking it between his thumb and forefinger. She squirmed against him as moisture flooded her center. “Just an hour or so,” he murmured into her ear.

  “Michael! You’ve been awake this whole time?”

  “Yeah. You’re lucky I didn’t ravish you in your sleep.”

  She arched back against him again. “You could have woken me up.”

  He groaned. “No, I couldn’t. You looked so peaceful.” His hand slid down to her hip and he pulled her tight against him.

  He’d been watching her sleep? For the last hour?

  She was assaulted by a sudden, wild affection for him—and another wave of lust, this one so powerful she moaned.

  “I need you inside me. Right now.”

  “I’m on it.” His voice was low and rough, and the sound vibrated through her.

  She felt him nudge at her entrance. She moaned again, arching her lower back, and a second later he pushed inside.

  He was so big he stretched her, filling her in a way she’d never experienced before. He rolled her onto her stomach and then pulled her up onto her hands and knees, thrusting deep.

  The sensation was so intense she cried out. When he reached around to stroke the aching, throbbing juncture of her thighs, it felt like only seconds before she came apart.

  He came too, gripping her hard as he slammed into her one last time, his whole body tensing and then pulsing inside her.

  Their arms gave way at the same time and they collapsed together onto the bed. She drew a deep, shuddering breath.

  “Wow,” she said, her voice muffled by the pillow.

  She loved his weight on top of her, pressing her into the mattress. She loved the ragged sound of his breath, and the way he pressed kisses against her neck, her shoulders, her back.

  Another wave of affection overwhelmed her and she twisted around to face him, sliding her hands into his hair and pulling him down for a kiss.

  He kissed her back like he meant it, and as Jenna gloried in the feel of his lips against hers she realized suddenly that she meant it, too.

  Something tightened in her chest.

  “I can’t breathe,” she said, even though he’d been supporting his weight with his arms.

  “Sorry,” he said immediately, rolling onto his side and lying next to her. He ran a finger down her forehead to the tip of her nose, and the casual tenderness of the gesture touched something deep inside her.

  A part of her that wasn’t ready to be touched.

  “You should probably go,” she said, her voice unsteady.

  “Don’t worry. Claire’s not going to be home for hours yet. And, anyway, you know she’s hoping I’m over here. She’s rooting for us to get together.”

  A cold feeling swept through her. She moved away from him and sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees. “That’s why she can’t find out about this. We don’t want her to get her hopes up. Right?”

  She wanted reassurance that they were still on the same page, but something in his expression told her they weren’t.

  “Jenna, listen. I know we said this would be a one-night stand, but—”

  “Damn it, Michael!”

  He grabbed her arm before she could jump off the bed. “Hey! Slow down a second.” She struggled against his grip, but his hold only tightened. “Don’t run away. You know damn well there’s something between us.”

  She was furious. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

  “Doing what? What’s so terrible about saying I want more than one night with you?” He sat up, too, and faced her. “Most women would be glad to know that the guy they just had sex with actually wants a relationship.”

  She jerked away from him. “I’m not most women. And we’ve already talked about this. You know how I feel. Why can’t you accept me for who I am, instead of trying to make me fit into your life the way you want me to?”

  “Jenna—”

  “Everything has to be on your terms, doesn’t it? You want a relationship with me, so you’re ready to steamroll over who I actually am to make that happen. And you’re terrified to have a relationship with your daughter, so you won’t even ask her to come live with you.”

  He stared at her for a long moment. Then he got off the bed and started grabbing clothes off the floor. “Why do you always do that?”

  “Do what?” She was trying not to miss the warmth of him in her bed, and she was failing.

  “Bring up Claire when I’m trying to talk about us.” He kept his back to her as he stepped into his jeans and tugged his tee shirt over his head.

  “Because that’s the relationship you should be thinking about. Your daughter is the most important person in your life, and you know it. Letting her go back to Florida would be a huge mistake, and you know that, too. But you’re too much of a coward to ask her to move here—or else it’s just plain selfishness, because you don’t want your life to change.”

  He bent down to grab his second shoe from under the bed. “Her life is in Florida. Everyone she knows is there.”

  “Except for you. And you should at least give her the choice.”

  He strode over to the window, his back to her. After a minute he turned around. “I’ve never been her dad, not full-time.”

  “I know.”

  There was a long pause. When he spoke again, his voice was so low she almost couldn’t hear it. “I don’t want to let her down.”

  Her heart contracted. “You won’t.”

  His hands slid into his pockets as he started to pace. “I work eighty hours a week between the hospital and the clinic. I could try to cut back, but what if it’s not enough? A teenage girl needs more than a few minutes a day with a dad who, let’s face it, doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing.”

  “Yes, she needs more than a few minutes a day with you. And you’ll have to make sure that happens.”

  Tension was coming off him in waves. “I didn’t have the greatest role models, parent-wise.”

 
“I know,” she said softly. “But you’re nothing like them, Michael. And you and Claire have been getting along so well...”

  He stopped pacing and faced her. “That’s because of you. If you weren’t here, we wouldn’t be getting along.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not true. Sure, I was the catalyst in the beginning. But you don’t need my help anymore. You’ve spent the last three days together without me, and Claire said it’s been great.”

  “She said that?”

  “Yes.”

  He dragged a hand through his hair. “I wish I could know for sure that it’s the right thing to do. For Claire.”

  “You can’t hedge your bets on something like this. What does your heart tell you? Your instincts?”

  “I don’t make decisions that way.” Then he looked at her, and his jaw tightened. “Except when it comes to you. I’ve got all kinds of instincts where you’re concerned, and they’re all telling me the same thing.”

  In spite of herself, there was a flutter in her heart.

  “You already know how I feel about...this.” She hugged her knees tighter, very aware that she was naked while he was now fully clothed. “I’m leaving, and...and we don’t want to give Claire the wrong idea.”

  “I know.”

  “So it’s okay?”

  “No, it’s not okay. But I’ll try to accept it.”

  She took a deep breath. “And will you think about what I said? About asking Claire to stay?”

  “Yeah, I’ll think about it. The truth is, I’ve been thinking about it all week.”

  She nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

  He went on looking at her, and goose bumps sprang up on every inch of her skin. She would have covered herself with a sheet but she couldn’t seem to move.

  “God, you’re beautiful.”

  The longing in his voice made her throat ache.

  She swallowed. “You should go.”

  He closed his eyes. “You’re right. I should.”

  And he did. Jenna stayed where she was until she heard the back door slam shut behind him. Then she went to her bedroom window.